How to Make Long-Lasting Changes?

Note: This article is based on the blog post by Mary Jaksch, in which she tells us about her experience of making a permanent change in her life.

We may all have the same problem: making a lasting change is difficult. I discovered this when I started the GLZ Epic Fitness Challenge, and in researching my upcoming book on the secrets of youthful aging, I found the next powerful strategy in a mysterious book on the Telomere Effect.

Behavioral science tells us that if we want to make a change, we need to know why we made that change, but to sustain this change, we need more knowledge. When it comes to change, our minds do not act logically. A chocolate bar looks more attractive than a healthy meal, which can weaken our decision when it comes time to exercise or meditate.

How to Fully Arrange Your Thoughts?

If you wish to make permanent changes, you need to put your thoughts, feelings, and actions in order, and to ensure that you are ready for a complete change, put yourself in this powerful interview with yourself and ask yourself these four crucial questions and answer them. They’re about readiness, meaning, and confidence about the change you want to make, and try using a notebook or digital file to record your answers.

1. What change would you like to make?

Choose a new habit you want to obtain, mention the change you want as clearly as possible, and write it.

2. Rate your willingness to make the change (on a scale of 1 to 10)

If your result is 6 or less, you are not ready to make a change in your chosen area, so it is better to choose a different target or find a smaller change in behavior. One change leads to another, so it's good to start with small steps, and if your readiness is 7 or more, you're ready to deal with the change you want to make.

Here's an example: If you want to get up early and set your wake-up time 1 hour earlier than usual, you may not be ready to make the change. However, if you reduce your goal to getting up just 5 minutes early, you may be ready to achieve that goal.

Note whether reducing your goal works for you. For most people, choosing a smaller goal boosts their readiness; however, there are also some people for whom choosing a smaller goal doesn't work because it "doesn't seem worth it."

In your role as your interlocutor, notice and respect the thoughts and feelings that arise with each question.

3. How does this change work for you?

If we find a deeper meaning to the change we make, we are more likely to make it last, so try to link your goal to your deepest priorities in life. For example, your motivation can be: "I want to achieve this goal for my children or grandchildren and be healthy enough to enjoy my time with them."

The key here is choosing the core goals of relationships, pleasure, and meaning in life rather than the distant goals of wealth, fame, or how others view us.

Once you feel the primary motive to change, keep your answer as a mental snapshot. It is best if you find a picture that represents your motive; this visual image is a weapon to use when the going gets tough.

Find an image you can use to remind you of your motivation; it will help you persevere and succeed. Print and paste it on the wall, or use it as a background on your phone. If you don't have a proper photo, search magazines or online for an image that expresses your primary motivation.

Here's an example: looking for constant motivation to write a series of books on aging, or a picture book, or to have people clap is not going to work for me because this image will be about external motivations, but the image of mature people enjoying life will remind me that I am on a mission to change people's lives, and this is a powerful motivator. So find and record your strongest motivation before moving on to the next question.

4. How confident are you in making this change? (on a scale from 1 to 10)

If you are at 6 or below, I suggest that you change your goal to make it simpler and easier to achieve. If your confidence is above 6, think about the problems you may have to overcome to achieve your desired change, create a realistic plan for how to overcome these obstacles, and think of them as challenges you have to face. At this point, it is useful to think about the moments of pride you felt when you were previously able to overcome other challenges in your life.

Questioning your confidence when you initiate change is crucial; positive psychology calls this step self-efficiency, and some psychologists assess self-efficacy as higher than talent when guiding success. That is why we need to pay attention to our confidence in setting goals to ensure that our efficiency beliefs are in line with the changes we want to make.

Long before the emergence of positive psychology, Mahatma Gandhi expressed the flow from thought to deed, saying, “Your beliefs turn into thoughts, thoughts turn into words, words turn into actions, actions into habits, habits become values, and these values become your destiny.”

Confidence in your potential to make a change determines whether you will experience new behavior in the first place and whether you will continue once you hit an obstacle.

After completing the four self-interview questions, review your results. You may want to do it again with a smaller change or a completely different one you want to achieve.

5. Adding the new habit to your agenda

Your next step is to schedule your new habit and include it on your calendar. When the time comes for work and activity, do not try to make a decision, but do it directly. After all, decision-making is exhausting, so start with the easiest possible step in the sequence of activity readiness; it could be as easy as changing your clothes.

For example, when I get ready for a karate class, I set an alarm to start my sequence. This sequence starts with me ironing my karate clothes and then attaching my black belt. The next step is picking up my karate bag, then I get into the car, and as soon as I walk through the door of the karate hall, I am ready for the actual training.

In the same way, you can create your own "standby" sequence. When you're doing the "getting ready" sequence, focus only on the next step, not the next activity.

6. Celebrating your new habit

Celebrate every time you take action to make your new habit a reality, give yourself some joy, and express it with a victory dance.

To sum it all up, here are the steps:

• Determine the change you want to make.
• Determine your willingness to make a change on a scale of 1 to It must be 7 or above; otherwise, choose an easier change.
• Find the meaning behind the change and find an image that sums up your primary motivation for change.
• Check your confidence in making change happen on a scale of 1 to 10.
• Add the new habit to your agenda.
• Celebrate each time you practice your new habit.