Note: This article is based on the work of the author Darius Foroux, in which he tells us about his experience in making good decisions in life.
Why do we, as a society, romanticize results? Only successful things and people are celebrated. Look at all the articles and books that glorify successful people. This might be logical, but it is also misleading. We tend to overlook cases that did not work. When we address failure, we are often too quick to explain why things failed.
In hindsight, we can all say that the mistakes were imminent, but if they are so easy to prevent, why do we still regret our decisions?
Let's take the Titanic as an example. In history, we all know that the luxury ship that traveled from Southampton to New York had several faults. It is known that the Titanic did not carry enough lifeboats.
We cannot confirm whether the question, "What happens when all lifeboats are used up in an emergency?" was posed because we weren't present. Another interesting fact is that the Titanic was tested for 6 hours, but only some of the crew was present. They then picked up passengers and sailed towards New York.
I don't think anyone asked, "Shouldn't we try this thing more before we get the passengers on board?" The truth is that no one wanted this disaster to happen, and no one predicted it, even after it happened.
A few decades before all these innocent people died, Russian novelist, Fyodor Dostoevsky famously said: "Everything sounds stupid when it fails."
Bad decisions and good decisions
It's easy to attribute success to the right decision, but the opposite is true. Failure is only sometimes attributed to bad decisions, but this is what most historians do. Dostoevsky said: “Failure is always apparent in hindsight.”
The Titanic's managers might have believed they were making the right decisions at the time, but they may have had many regrets after the disaster. However, good or bad decisions have nothing to do with the result. Peter Bevelin, author of Seeking Wisdom, believes that good decisions can lead to bad results, and the opposite is true.
You can't predict the future, and sometimes, bad decisions can lead to good results. Therefore, I think it is pointless for people to pretend they can teach you how to make "good" decisions. No such thing exists, and anyone who has failed a lot in their life will tell you that.
Mental models: Focus on the process, not the outcome
How you look at how something works in the real world is called a mental model, which is your thinking-frame about something. However, when we make decisions, we often don't think about our framework and immediately jump into a discussion of possible outcomes, wondering: "What would happen if we made that decision?"
This is a non-exhaustive method because you are not questioning your decision-making process but only looking at the outcome. Have you thought about the specific thinking frames (mental models) you can use for your decision?
Due to a lack of time, resources, information, or other insignificance, we frequently bypass the process and make the decision right away. Whatever your reason is, it isn't a justification for completely skipping the decision-making process, as doing so ensures that you will make bad decisions regardless of the outcome. So, focus on how comprehensive your decision-making process is rather than how successful your choices are.
You don't have to know everything about mental models, and I certainly don't. Most fake intellectuals spend a lot of time talking about a mental model instead of using it to achieve anything meaningful in life. They just like to define mental models, but we all know that knowledge is only useful with the application.
This is why I recommend reading the following two books that focus on this topic:
- Seeking Wisdom by Peter Bevelin discusses the mental models of American investors Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett.
- Fooled by Randomness by Nassim Taleb. This is one of my favorite mental models. It helps to understand how random events affect outcomes.
We can never predict the future or know all the mental models out there, but we can make decisions we don't regret. We can say we did the right thing by simply focusing on the thinking process. This is the only certain way to avoid regret, regardless of the outcome.
What is the right thing?
Obviously, we shouldn't regret making mistakes, as every mistake is a lesson to learn from after all. However, there is another type of regret that literally kills people, which is the regret of inaction.
I experienced this closely with my grandmother. She experienced sadness toward the end of her life, which was solely brought on by regret over the things she did not do. No matter what you do, we all suffer in life in different ways. American entrepreneur Jim Rohn once said: “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”
Achieving your goals, improving your skills and relationships, writing a book, or building a business are all difficult decisions that require significant time, energy, and sacrifice to achieve such worthwhile things in life. However, what is more difficult is the regret for indolence, disappointment, and laziness.
In conclusion, It is up to you to decide which type of suffering is more painful for you.
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