You understand that everything we do in life involves preparation, almost like creating a plan for it, and that our emotions are always under control and predictable throughout this planning stage and before venturing out into the world to test our hypotheses.
This arises as a result of the assumptions that we make. When you plan something, the first step will obviously lead to the second step, and even if it doesn't, your backup plan is there to arrange everything and get you back on track.
“If I quit my job and start a business, I will make up for the loss in less than a year, and after that, I can live wherever I want and travel wherever I want.” How many of us have said these words or something along the lines? It is easy in theory, but applying it in practice is very difficult.
The Problem with Emotions
The problem is that we cannot predict our emotional reactions to the inevitable and unexpected fluctuations in our plan because we cannot write down the feelings we are currently feeling on paper before we feel them.
While the first step you take to accomplish your plan always leads to the next step, your emotions do not. An emotion that should elicit another emotional response in a logical fashion instead pushes you into a different emotion for which you were not prepared.
Emotions are inherently uncontrollable. When implementing a plan, what you want may not be what you need, and what you need may be something you do not want. However, it is different with feelings. You impulsively want what you want, and you cannot control it, but when these emotional impulses cause you to change course from achieving your plan, it may have negative effects, or it may not.
Let's say you wanted to move around the country and decided to do it in a couple of months, but then you meet someone and you become instantly infatuated with them. Then you go on a few dates, and you quickly realize that this potential relationship could work. Now what?
You can continue with your plan, you can dump it and just focus on this new romantic relationship, or you can continue with your plan while maintaining your relationship but from a distance. Which realistic plan is the right one? Do any of them feel right?
Adjust Your Plan to Your Whims
The danger is in executing your plan in real time. When you are in the planning phase, and if you do it right, the plan always leads to your greatest desires. So, when you finish the planning phase and enter the implementation phase, you immediately start moving towards achieving your major goals in life.
Then life inevitably takes a different path, as suddenly something happens to show you just how difficult the path you're on is or show you that maybe your goal isn't what you want after all. Here you are faced with two choices: either to continue your career as you planned it or to modify it. Which is correct? The problem is that the decision is inherently tied to the emotion we feel. If we use the example mentioned above, the primary purpose of traveling across the country is emotion.
Traveling is exciting because of the new and scary experiences it brings. You leave friends, family, and acquaintances behind. On the other hand, meeting that special someone who makes you reconsider your plan is also emotional. When you are guided solely by your emotions, you risk making the wrong decision.
Suppose you finally decide to travel across the country. Did you miss out on meeting your potential future partner, which is something you've always wanted? Or do you explore your new emotions and stay? Well, what happens if the relationship quickly sours or you discover that this person is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? There is danger in that case (reliance on emotion), but in reality, there is no danger at all.
Unexpected Obstacles in Your Life
What is dangerous about an unexpected obstacle? Nothing. Having an obstacle is just an opportunity to explore the possibility of new opportunities. After all, isn't passion what we seek? Is this goal that you are working for and making plans for more than just a sentiment or a thing in and of itself?
Buying fast cars, having fun friends, having a good life, and traveling are all goals, and they all elicit positive emotional responses. So, whatever goal you seek to achieve, it is not material but abstract. It is the happiness you get from living in the moment, moment after moment.
So, if this is the case, wouldn't a change in your life plan that triggers an emotional response be a blessing? Your journey will always be there; just because you met someone doesn't mean you have to abandon your plan. Instead, it gives you the opportunity to explore a new set of emotions in the meantime, and if those feelings become positive, you have the opportunity to explore them.
After that, an obstacle in the way becomes a slight deviation from your plan, a modification, or an expansion of your overall plan. However, as the wise have said, “Avoid making your happiness exclusively dependent on emotions that cause you to reconsider your plans because this poses a grave danger.”
This is because the more value and importance you place on this relationship, the more likely it is to control you instead of being an important part of the mosaic of your life. So, leave or stay, but first, sit down and meditate. Feel your emotions deeply, because when you encounter an obstacle, your body will tell you how to figure it out first.
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