So, what are the values? What is their origin? How do they affect our lives?
These questions matter to anyone who wants to live a purposeful and fulfilling life.
What are the values?
Values are the basic beliefs that govern our lives, determine how we act and speak, and guide our decisions about everything, from professional life to personal growth. They also shape our personalities and influence how we deal with others and interact with the world around us. In short, values are the essence of our identity.
There are two types of values: Personal values and cultural values. Personal values represent our beliefs about what is right or wrong, and relate to us personally and shape our view of the world. As for cultural values, they are those that are acceptable in the societies in which we grew up. These values differ from one society to another, but they affect our lives as much as personal values.
Corporate values and religious values are examples of cultural values, while personal values include individual values and group values such as friends or family.
The method of determining personal values depends on people's feelings toward themselves and the world around them. Personal values can be positive, enhancing self-confidence and satisfaction, or negative, resulting from restrictive beliefs. These values can cause problems in our relationships and interactions with the world as a whole.
What is the origin of values?
Our values are formed in childhood. Children absorb information around them, but their world is small. They usually acquire the values of close family members, which also stem from our efforts to gain the love we long for. Children want to gain acceptance, so they adopt the values and beliefs they need to achieve that acceptance.
Personal values are also influenced by our current experiences and the people around us. It is said that a person's personality is a product of the people they surround themselves with. We carry the characteristics that we like in our family, friends, and life partners and ignore those that we do not like, resulting in our current values and beliefs.
Types of personal values in life
There are several types of personal values, but most can be included in ethics, aesthetics, or family.
1. Ethical values
They help us determine right from wrong. These values are based on laws, religious beliefs, or politics. Continents, states, and cities define broad moral values, which are then transmitted to society's members and adopted as personal values.
2. Aesthetic values
They help us establish aesthetic, artistic or musical standards. Aesthetic values are individual but can be greatly influenced by an individual's upbringing, the people we spend time with and the aesthetic values in our culture.
3. Family values
They vary from one family to another, and they relate to how family members spend time together, how they deal with each other, and the family structure. So, our values are often the same as family values, or at least they arise from the family.
Examples of personal value
There are many examples of personal values in life. Given the differences in the interests of individuals, it is difficult to prepare a comprehensive list. However, below are some examples that will help you understand the concept and create a list of personal values.
1. Learning
If you constantly seek ways to feed your mind with new information and enjoy talking to others to learn more about them, then learning is likely one of your important personal values.
2. Individuality
If you go against the grain, reject the status quo, have your own standards by which you define yourself, and constantly ignore what others think is the “right way” to live life, you value individuality.
3. Independence
You value the concept of freedom, including physical, emotional, or financial freedom. You live a life where your dreams have no limits, and you use your strength and perseverance to achieve goals.
4. Generosity
If generosity is one of your personal values, then you believe that the secret of life is giving. You may also spend a lot of your time volunteering, donating, or finding other ways to give.
How to define your personal values?
If you cannot determine your values, think about what satisfies you. These feelings will serve as a guide that directs you to determine your personal values. Ask yourself some questions to delve deeper into your true thoughts and feelings. These feelings stem from your personal values. Below is a list of questions you can start with. With:
- What is the most important aspect of your life?
- What kind of news or stories inspire you?
- What kind of news or stories frustrate you?
- If you could change anything in the world, what would you change?
- When were you happiest?
- At what point in your life were you saddest?
- Who is the person you most admire in life?
- What do you like about him?
These questions will provide you with answers that reveal your personal values in life. After creating a list of your important values, you can arrange your life according to priorities and what matters most to you.
What is the importance of values?
Our values shape us and our personality. They are a set of rules that affect how we interact and judge others. Our values also determine our view of ourselves and the world. Most importantly, values have a profound impact on our personal relationships. This set of rules also affects every communication we make. As a result, certain expectations and a perceived concept of how things "should" be are created.
So, these rules may sometimes be reasonable, while sometimes they may be ridiculous. We often impose our personal values on our partner without telling him our expectations or needs, and this leads to disappointment and frustration. How can a person live up to a level if they do not know the level required to achieve it?
When you say or hear things like, “If you loved me, you wouldn't do this,” that's a value that you expect people around you to follow. Also, if you're ever upset because someone didn't do something they said they would do, know that that's a value, too. However, not telling people your expectations is what makes those expectations dangerous because it is not possible for a person to fulfill an obligation that they did not even know existed.
Sometimes, we get upset with each other because of an act in which one of our personal values is violated. In unhealthy relationships, each person continues to criticize the other for violating their rules, which damages the relationship.
Knowing your values and defining your own set of personal rules is essential for building healthy, long-term relationships. Disagreements inevitably arise when our values don't complement our partner's values. When our rules don't make sense and make our relationships difficult, we need to reevaluate our relationships. Moreover, perhaps it's time to reshape our beliefs and our valuesin a way that leads to more harmony rather than disagreement. Or perhaps we should find a partner or group of friends who are more compatible with our personal values.
Where do values come from, then? How do they help or hinder you? Do these beliefs positively impact your success and relationships, or do they hinder you?
You can ultimately achieve more by objectively examining your beliefs and determining how to change them to better suit your goals.
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