Note: This article is from blogger Darius Foroux, who gives us 5 tips to help us stop caring about criticism and insults.
Although it is difficult, I agree with this advice. I'm amazed at how quickly some people get upset. Of course, I'm not talking about getting upset about real things like illness or death or not having any food; I'm talking about the little things that happen in daily life. So why do we get hurt by the smallest things?
When someone disagrees with you, when your co-worker says bad things about you, when someone is always "lucky" and you're not, when your friend betrays you, when you don't like your job, etc.
So what?
I had been hurt by these things before, and if someone badmouthed me, it felt like the world stopped. When you are young, you will think that your life is over when the most trivial things happen. But I'm over it; you can't be bothered by such nonsense anymore.
I see how most people around me get upset about silly things. For example, bloggers may get hurt and start writing about how to deal with criticism, or some people may give up their dream because someone close to them has said they can't make it, or the people I work with may not take the risk because they are afraid of potential criticism.
But why do you listen or care? As one of the best authors, Ernest Hemingway, said in his memoir, A Moveable Feast, "Someone started talking about my writing, and I stopped listening."
So if you want to live your life like this, you need to stop caring about criticism and insults because when you get upset or let others get you down, you may give up on what you're doing, doubt yourself, or start to change yourself for the worse and stop being yourself. It's important not to bother with criticism or insults, especially if you want to live your life happily.
Five tips to stop caring aboutturn a deaf ear to criticism and insults
1. Don't be shy to confront
I am a kind person by nature, but I can't take the nonsense. A few years ago, I found out that one of my co-workers wasn't honest with upper management. I said nothing and was afraid of confrontation, but it was a terrible mistake because they caused great harm to the people in the company.
I don't want to be the one who always comes to the rescue, but if something unfair happens, I'll do something about it, and it may backfire. But at least I would have done the right thing.
Also, if people treat me unfairly, I don't get angry; I tell them they did it outloud. It's not nice to treat people badly, but you don't have to be nice all the time, and if someone takes advantage of me, I won't let it go.
The more you defend yourself and others, the better, and you will discover that it is normal and that confrontation does not mean that you should quarrel with people, but that you can do it with your words and actions. So always try to keep calm.
2. Never take things personally
I don't want to justify bad behavior, but don't forget that some people do bad things to get ahead of their colleagues. Life is a competition; we compete for attention, love, money, and jobs, and if you fail at something or someone doesn't like you, don’t take it personally. Why would you question yourself? and say things like:
- Am I a bad friend?
- Am I a bad person?
- Nobody loves me.
Your mind comes up with strange ideas, but for me, I prefer to see things as they are. Life is a competition, and you may lose sometimes, and that's all there is to it. So get over it, stop caring about criticism and insults, and don't start losing faith in humanity all of a sudden; nothing is personal, and the world doesn't revolve around you.
As the British evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins said, "Let's try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are made selfish."
3. Express yourself online
People will give you their candid opinions online. You can hide behind your computer, and sometimes it can be silly. But it is also a good thing. In real life, people will never be 100% honest with you, especially your friends and family. So if you want to stop caring about criticism and insults, post something online and read the comments.
If you don't get any feedback, ask for it. That is, talk to people and ask for their opinion, or put a link in a specific forum and ask people for their opinions.
If people love you, that's great, and if they don't, then what?
4. Put things into perspective
According to the latest statistics, 12.7% of the world's population lives on $1.90 or less a day, and for me, every time I feel resentful about some things, I remind myself how lucky I am; I'm healthy, I have food and shelter, and that's all I need, in addition to not caring about criticism and insults.
5. Don't be upset if you’re not liked by everyone
A while ago, I met someone who told me that Mahatma Gandhi only wanted attention. Can you believe that? The same applies to former South African President Nelson Mandela, US Secretary of State Martin Luther King Jr., or any other historical figure, he said.
I consider him to be unversed in such spheres so I don't bother arguing with him or the like (online or in real life). If people don't like Mahatma Gandhi, don't expect everyone to like you; this is impossible. Why strive for impossible things? You cannot be admired by all the people in the world, so don't wait too anxiously for that to happen. When you don't care about criticism and insults, you will never worry and you will always be happy.
Add comment