Note: This article is from blogger Marc Chernoff, who shares 6 habits that optimists share.
You can manage stress on regular days by adopting a positive mindset and approach. I learned this lesson when I received an email from one of my followers that said:
"I gathered my two little girls today to break the news that we’re temporarily moving to a smaller apartment, possibly for up to two years, until I can find another job that helps me save money. I kept avoiding this talk for a whole month because I felt devastated and guilty for failing to give my family a stable, secure life.
The girls weren't expecting such news but exchanged surprised looks, not understanding why I was worried. Then my youngest turned to me and asked, 'But we’re moving to the new apartment together, right?' Without hesitation, I replied, 'Of course we’re moving together.' 'So there's no problem,' she said."
Nothing can compare to this little girl's positive, insightful response. It's like a glimmer of sunshine on a cloudy day. Your happiness and inner peace depend on your attitude and reactions to situations. Optimism is a personal choice, not an innate trait a select few are blessed with.
It’s a skill you can develop and cultivate over time. So, take these two little girls as your role models, and let their positivity and hope guide you toward a positive, bright life.
Six habits optimists share
1. Making the Most of Available Options
Most people shy away from overly optimistic people because they don’t understand the difference between optimism and idealism. An optimist is a realistic, positive person who is neither naive nor in denial about reality or their circumstances.
Optimists make the most of available options, no matter how limited the resources and opportunities may be. Their capacity to evaluate circumstances thoroughly and their great perception makes them excellent at spotting and seizing chances. Generally speaking, there are three basic types of people:
- The Idealist: Focuses on absolute perfection.
- The Pessimist: Fails to recognise available opportunities.
- The Optimist: Studies all possible options and opportunities to determine the best one.
How do these people act when they want to pick lemons?
The idealist chooses the ripest fruit, thinking it will be the best. The pessimist picks the one within easy reach. But the optimist picks all the lemons within sight and makes lemonade.
2. Treating Themselves with Compassion and Acceptance
Children are lovely and inspirational; they run, sing, and dance without worrying about others' opinions. They don’t need anyone’s approval because they understand and celebrate their worth. However, as we age and reach adulthood, peer pressure, media, and societal expectations start weighing heavily on us.
Consequently, they lose their sense of self-worth and seek it in others' eyes. They compare themselves and evaluate their body, lifestyle, career, and relationships against everyone around them. This leads to losing childhood innocence, feeling bitter, and failing to appreciate the blessings in their lives when they become aware of what they lack.
Optimists avoid self-loathing in two main ways. First, they choose their daily habits and activities based on their own intuition, avoiding the need for others’ approval and doing what suits them. Second, optimists don’t judge themselves by societal standards or others' unrealistic ideals. Instead, they hold on to their confidence and self-worth even as they mature, becoming wiser and stronger over time.
3. Separating Happiness from Long-Term Achievements
Optimism flourishes when one is content with one's life. To find contentment, you must look within yourself because happiness is an internal feeling. If you seek happiness outside yourself and tie it to long-term achievements, you'll face two main issues:
3.1. You might not achieve success
If you identify a problem in your life but fail to solve it, your frustration will grow with each attempt until you convince yourself you're incapable of success. You'll ultimately declare total failure because you've lost faith in your abilities.
3.2. You might succeed but then want more
If you discover an issue in your life, commit to fixing it, and succeed, you'll find another problem needing a solution. Let's say you lost some weight, but now you want toned muscles. Or, you pay off your debts but now want to build substantial wealth. This creates a never-ending cycle throughout life where you can never reach your ultimate goal because you’re constantly seeking happiness in external achievements, unable to find it within.
Optimists separate long-term achievements from daily happiness. They allow themselves to feel joy in every moment without imposing conditions. This sense of contentment doesn't mean they slack off; they set goals, work hard, adopt good habits, help others, and make progress. But they also learn to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
4. Maintaining Good Company
Your mental well-being is directly linked to the company you keep. This means you won’t find happiness spending most of your time with negative people. Avoid them and surround yourself with positive, emotionally supportive friends who inspire optimism.
Remember, optimism is a learned habit you can cultivate and pass on to others. Be kind and cheerful, and accept that sometimes you can’t solve problems or help others, but your kindness and patience can inspire optimism in tough times.
5. Accepting Reality
Optimists face tough times and harsh circumstances like anyone else. Life isn’t always rosy and joyful. Realistic thinking is necessary to assess situations logically and avoid oversimplifying things. Acknowledge crises and accept that things don’t always go as planned.
Embrace life’s ups and downs. In short, be prepared for crises so you can deal with them logically when they occur, and use good times to make progress and boost your optimism.
6. Using Positive Signals and Language
How you describe and express a situation sometimes impacts your mental state more than the situation itself. If an optimist succeeds, they might say, “I expected this success because I studied hard, and my effort paid off.” A pessimist, however, might say, “I must have gotten lucky to score well on that test,” not giving themselves credit for their achievement.
If an optimist faces difficulties in a project, they’re likely to say, “Either the instructions are wrong, or the project requires more effort than I thought, or maybe I’m just having a tough day.” This positive self-talk keeps the problem external (instructions), identifies a solution (more effort), and confirms it’s temporary (a tough day).
On the other hand, a pessimist criticises themselves, believes the problem is internal and widespread, and can’t identify the root cause. So, to become more optimistic, follow the optimist's example and adopt positive internal dialogue in both success and failure.
Body language is crucial in determining one's mental state. Smiling improves one's mood. When one feels down, the brain sends a message of sadness to the facial muscles, which respond by frowning, reinforcing the feeling of misery.
Smiling can reverse this process, sending a message back to your brain that you’re happy. Consequently, your brain starts changing your mood gradually.
In Conclusion
Start your day with enthusiasm and passion. Trust that things will improve, and believe in your ability to achieve success. So, be optimistic and hopeful, then focus on positive thinking and work hard towards your life goals.
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