This place would be perfect for making lousy decisions, not because the hall itself is bad, but because it's obvious that anyone visiting is making a bad decision just by showing up. Inside, you'd find displays of the worst decisions ever made.
There'd be a Kodak gallery, for instance, after they owned 90% of the camera market and invented digital photography, only to refuse to sell their market share, leading to bankruptcy.
Then there'd be another display dedicated to Decca Records, which notoriously turned down signing The Beatles, believing that "the golden age of guitar bands had passed." Let's not forget the entire wing showcasing military leaders who attempted ill-conceived invasions of Russia, as well as another wing featuring celebrities who ruined their careers with outrageously foolish stunts.
Amidst the crowd, a figure or two would take the stage to host seminars on how to avoid making such horrible decisions, offering principles and rules for making better life decisions. Here are five of these rules:
Understand Your Values and Biases
All the tough decisions we face in life mainly revolve around our ability to think about and evaluate our values, from financial and emotional to social and intellectual values. It's not just about short-term considerations but also the long haul, making assessing values exceedingly tough.
This is because we struggle to see things clearly. Generally, we're heavily biased toward short-term rewards and our emotional values. We also cling to our pre-existing beliefs and guard our reputations. Moreover, we can't see the long-term rewards clearly because we often cannot see past our current fears and concerns.
Our emotions cloud everything we see, and because they are the default setting for our decision-making, the idea of abandoning a long-held project or considering the possibility that we've been wrong for years is emotionally painful.
However, the truth is we've all made mistakes that have spanned years, and we won't learn evaluative judgment unless we acknowledge how wrong we've been in the past. This default state pushes us to avoid short-term failures, even if it means missing out on long-term successes that could have been within our reach.
However, this isn't the only option. The key to effective decision-making is finding short-term failures that prepare us for long-term successes. Nevertheless, most people fall short in this critical stage—when most possibilities exist.
Aim to Fail Sometimes
Have you ever heard of highly successful entrepreneurs who failed at numerous ventures before hitting it big? This should teach us all that perseverance and hard work are the cornerstones of extraordinary success.
However, sometimes, we only focus on their success and think about how "lucky" they were. Who would've thought that Amazon would become what it is today?
We’re missing that dozens of those failed, unserious ideas and projects were bets with extremely limited negative aspects compared to their positive ones. If they fail, the loss is insignificant, but if they succeed, the win is noteworthy.
Say you were given a pair of dice and told that you might win $10,000 if you rolled a 1, but you would lose $100 for every bad throw. How many times would you roll the dice?
If you're not particularly good at math, you should know you'd better invest all your money.
Most people mistakenly believe that making decisions is like a single dice roll; life is more like an endless sequence of rolls. Sometimes, a seemingly dangerous decision can end up being quite beneficial in the long run. Sure, you might fail way more than you succeed, but your wins will outweigh the losses, so it's a risk worth taking.
You can apply this "high-risk, high-reward" approach to your life for better long-term outcomes:
- Pitch some "daring" ideas at work while knowing that 90% of them might get shot down, but if one is accepted, your career could take off.
- Start having challenging conversations with your children at a young age, even if they object. Over time, they will greatly benefit from overcoming these challenges.
- Be bold in defining the qualities you want in a life partner, even if most people don't fit the list.
- Buy some challenging books to read, even if you won't grasp them all, knowing one could be a game-changer.
- Accept every invitation, even if most people or events seem boring because you never know when you might run into someone genuinely amazing.
When you let instant gratification rule your thoughts, you miss out on the big gains life could offer. Our troublesome emotions are what usually mislead us since they are linked to the current moment, so they prevent us from seeing the bigger picture and impair our capacity to make wise decisions.
Treat Your Emotions Like You Treat Your Pet
Pets often reflect the traits of their owners. Disciplined pets mirror their owners' level of discipline and emotional stability. Finding a misbehaving dog in a well-kept home is rare because the owner likely values emotional stability.
This is because our relationships with pets are pure emotional bonds. If we fail to manage our own emotions and restrain ourselves when necessary, we'll likely struggle to manage our pets, too. It's as simple as that.
Our emotions are a bit like the inner pet we all have in our heads—a side that seeks comfort and pleasure yet often neglects future consequences or risks. It's this aspect we need to train and refine.
Emotions are important, but they are not rational. They prevent us from considering the consequences of our decisions or other relevant factors. Instead, they push us to overreact to situations. These emotions evolved to keep our ancestors safe when hunting was their daily livelihood. So, when fear strikes, we want to flee or hide and are driven to break things out of rage.
Fortunately, our brains developed logical thinking and the ability to envision the past and future, which sets us apart from other creatures. However, the problem is that our emotions often dictate our behaviour.
You might know that having ice cream for breakfast is a bad idea, but if you're craving it, your desires will win in the end, and you'll find yourself eating that ice cream, unable to control your emotions. To do that, you must learn to think rationally, ignore your whims when they'll harm you, and do what satisfies you while sustaining your well-being.
Emotions are great when they inspire and motivate you. It's just like owning a pet that makes you smile, helps you remember your tasks, and alerts you to potential dangers. However, pets have limited abilities; they need guidance and training to behave appropriately.
Similarly, you must assess, direct, and sometimes ignore your emotions when necessary. So, teach yourself to form good habits, make wiser decisions, reward yourself, discipline yourself, love yourself, accept your feelings, and pamper yourself, but also assess it now and then.
Improve Your Life to Minimize Regrets
Psychologists sometimes describe regret as a “rational emotion,” not because regret itself makes us more rational—not directly, at least—but because we often anticipate regret in a seemingly rational way.
When we make decisions, we weigh available options, envision ourselves in the future after choosing one, and try to gauge the level of regret we might feel in that envisioned future. We then compare these feelings of regret with other options.
Upon closer inspection, this ability is amazing and incredibly useful as long as we use the most accurate and comprehensive information available (considering everything we've covered so far).
Most of us are afraid to fail or mess things up, yet we rarely ask ourselves whether this failure is worth the regret. If it's not, then you should take that risk.
Likewise, many of us dream of big success, but if you ask yourself if you'll regret not reaching it, the likelihood is that you won't. It is not something you should sacrifice for unless the answer is "yes."
Sometimes, the right decision becomes as clear as day when framed under these conditions. Take Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, for example.
He left his cushy, high-paying job to launch the website because he could clearly see that he would regret not trying an internet-based venture as he grew older.
On the other hand, he realized he would deeply regret staying at his job in the future.
Therefore, many people make major decisions in their lives based on what leads them to the least regret. They often say that these are the best they've ever made.
So, make your decisions based on avoiding regret rather than success or failure, happiness or pain. Our regret is typically the best indicator of what truly matters to us in the long run.
Jot Down Your Thoughts
Noting down your thoughts is the best way to separate genuine decision-making from emotional babbling. It's a simple yet effective method to clear your mind, solve your issues, and feel better about yourself.
Writing forces you to organise all the emotional clutter inside and make it tangible. So, the vague feelings become measurable and organised, revealing your internal contradictions. It demonstrates your reasoning—or lack thereof—and often uncovers new perspectives you were unaware of.
If you're having trouble carefully weighing a decision, you can write down the following questions to get you started:
- What are the pros and cons of your decision? Take some time to analyse the cost-benefit ratio, but don't just list the pros and cons. Add more columns to distinguish between the long-term and short-term "pros," and then add another column for the regret associated with each decision. Take note of any chance of long-term success.
- What was the motivation behind your decision? Is this a value you want to instil in yourself? All decisions, whether great or small, are somehow influenced by our intentions. Sometimes, it's obvious; for instance, hunger might drive you to eat whatever is in front of you. However, things aren't always so simple. Issues might arise when intentions are unclear or at odds with our core values.
For example, do you want to buy a car because it genuinely benefits you or because you seek validation from those around you? Are you seeking full custody of your children because you believe it's in their best interest, or are you trying to get back at your ex? Are you trying to start your own business because you enjoy the challenges and ups and downs of entrepreneurship or envy your friends who run successful companies and feel like you don't measure up to them? After assessing your decisions, check whether your goals match who you want to be and see if you can identify any hidden motives. If you've never thought about what you want to be, then it's time to turn a new page and jot that down.
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