Note: This article is from blogger Erin Falconer, who shares her experience with selfishness.
Looking back, I knew I was not good enough and I did not deserve to achieve what I wanted; I had a fake smile, I claimed to be able to do anything, and I made sure that my superiority did not overwhelm the excellence of others.
That continued until I broke up with my partner while trying to prove to them that I was the right woman, but I finally had enough. I am not who I want to be, and this is not the life I wanted to live one day, so I ended our relationship and felt completely comfortable.
I was ready to start working on my dreams and desires. For the first time in my life, I finally thought only of myself, and I had to do that because if I did not, I would end up as I was before, and I would enter into a relationship doomed to failure.
Sometimes selfishness is not a bad thing; it means taking the time to look at what you want from life, making the decision to work to achieve what you want, and putting everything else in the box for a while. So I thought about talking about times when selfishness is good.
Times when selfishness is good
1. Your time alone
That is the first situation in which a person must be selfish. For someone who really wants to know who he is and what he wants from life, it is critical to make time for yourself. Spending time alone allows you to discover what drives you, what brings you joy, and whether this personality you currently possess is the one you want.
Conversely, being constantly surrounded by people prevents you from being as honest as you would like to be and prevents you from having the opportunity to delve deeper and consider your identity.
2. Other people's burdensome requests
When others' requests weigh on you, you must be selfish and reject them. Saying “No” is a big step to knowing what matters to you in life, and you should not worry about what others think of you when you say "No.”
If they know you and accept you as you are, they will understand. Saying “No” helps you increase your confidence and prioritize yourself, and through realism and honesty, you will be a better person.
3. Get rid of anything that hinders your happiness
These may include ending a relationship with your partner because you have different dreams for the future or telling your parents that you don't want to study medicine just because they want you to. It's about doing the things you want, not the things that make others happy.
Life is not about pleasing others; it is about knowing what you want from life, where you should be, and how you will get what you want. If you do not follow your heart, you will end up feeling unhappy, which makes everyone as sad as you are. If you don't want to drown in regret, start getting rid of people and things that prevent your happiness.
4. Find out where your happiness lies
If you're not looking for happiness, what are you doing here? Life is a quest for passion and living today as if it were your last. Remember that life is short, so do your best. People around you will try to force you to do the things they think you should do, so you will need your strong personality to do what makes you satisfied and happy.
Do as you please. If your dream is to ride a horse across the globe, go ahead. Live alone in a cabin if that's your preference. Whatever it is, keep moving forward despite obstacles, and remember that happiness is when you perform at your best. Therefore, don't try to live a normal life; instead, do what you want and encourage others to follow suit.
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