Note: This article is taken from Cheryl Smith's blog, in which she shares her experience of coping with life's challenges.
Life's difficulties appear out of nowhere, which disturbs our routine and makes us lose the ability to predict the course of things. We can only accept them because we cannot change them. Our loved ones die leaving us in shock and grief, we get a disease that derails our best plans, our cars or appliances break down incurring expensive repair and replacement costs, we lose our jobs due to layoffs, outsourcing, or other reasons beyond our control, and our relationships might end, no matter how much we don't want it to. This is life.
The American poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said: “In every life, you must encounter some bumps.” However, sometimes life throws more than just bumps in our way, and none of us has the power to control them.
Things to consider when life throws challenges your way
Since we are powerless with these things, what matters most is how we choose to respond to them when they happen. So, here are some things to consider when life throws you up, and you find yourself powerless:
1. Accepting the reality
Do not overcomplicate the obvious. Although we like to pretend that the situation is not difficult, this will never change the truth. When we accept reality with all our emotions and minds, we will enjoy inner peace despite the external circumstances. Acceptance frees us from inner conflict, and leads us to live a simple life.
2. Accepting limitations
Accepting the fact that what is happening is beyond our ability to fix will not relieve us of pain, but it will relieve our unnecessary sense of responsibility. Sometimes, we can't change or fix some things, yet we might discover that we were never meant to do that. This fact frees us from some of our burdens.
3. Contentment
You have to believe that things will work out in the end because there is good in every evil, and no one knows its details except God. So, don't try to dig up the past, it's over for reasons you can't realize. Instead, move forward and be sure that everything will be in your favor in the end, and that changes are inevitable. So, don't fight changes. Be sure that things are happening exactly as they should be.
Early in our marriage, my husband and I adopted two puppies. They were so lovely, but they hid a lot of obstinacy behind that beauty. It was difficult to tame their lively natures. So, we decided to enroll them in a course to train them to obey us. We learned an exercise that was a very successful tool for taming our dogs. We had to pick up the two puppies one by one in our palms and force them to lie on their backs. They got so confused and started wriggling and whimpering as they tried to figure out a way to escape from our grasp.
The coach insisted that we do not give up, but to hold them steady while speaking to them in a commanding but gentle tone. The first time we tried it was too stressful for both of us and the two puppies to control them. However, the second time was a little easier. They did not just remember our refusal to let them just go their own way. They also remembered that we did not let them fall. Over time and through continuous training, the resistance of the two puppies decreased further, and their confidence in us increased.
During this training period, we faced many sad situations. My 40-year-old brother-in-law died unexpectedly. Then, my father, who lived nearby, became seriously ill and was hospitalized at the same time as my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. Work pressures and other hardships flooded our lives. Our confusion was indescribable.
We began to notice the change in our two puppies and the futility of their fierce resistance to a force that was beyond their capabilities. After all, we were the ones in control. When they felt safe in our hands, they began to learn that stubbornness wouldn't change the outcome.
They could be free from their fears as long as they knew we wouldn't let them fall.
The lessons our dogs learned were helpful for us too. Although we were upset most of the time during this period of severe experiences, we came to conclude that resisting what was meant to happen makes things more difficult.
Trust can be gained through practice. With every situation we survived, our desire to resist decreased and our trust that we would be fine in spite of everything increased. We have been through a lot of difficult times, but each of them instilled a deeper sense of trust within us. God has compensated us after that and blessed us with a beautiful child who fills our lives and our home with indescribable joy.
We are still learning every day. I am not saying that we no longer encounter difficulties, but we learned to resist what we cannot control over the years of our marriage. Learning how to cope with life's difficulties - instead of complaining about it - contributed to creating the simple life that we live and cherish now.
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