Emotional Stupidity: Its Definition, Signs, and How to Reach Emotional Intelligence
We live in a traditional stereotypical way, believing that educational attainment and university degrees mean the whole of life, so human success is achieved only by them, while the reality indicates otherwise.
We find many people with high degrees, but they do not have social success and are unable to communicate their knowledge and ideas to others; they cannot control their feelings, so they make the worst decisions in their moments of weakness and sadness, which makes their science limited to them only, without real benefit from it.
Many people with average levels of educational achievement have significant communication skills, persuasion and influence, flexibility in dialogue, the ability to listen and contain, amazing elegance in selecting words and words, and skills in controlling emotions, so they win the hearts and minds of others quite simply.
So, it's deeper than just a degree. It's skills, abilities, and emotional and social intelligence. What do you do unintentionally that makes you an emotionally stupid person? This article will teach us.
What is emotional stupidity?
It is the opposite of emotional intelligence, which is the inability to control feelings and emotions. That is, leaving the leadership to feelings without logic and reason traps the individual in many problems and exposes them to several wrong decisions.
Emotionally incompetent behaviour is, to put it simply, acting carelessly, disregarding the feelings of others, and failing to learn from past mistakes. Research indicates that an emotionally competent individual outperforms an emotionally dimwitted individual in terms of success, even in cases where the latter achieves superior academic results.
What are the signs of emotional stupidity?
1. Continuous criticism
The emotionally stupid person loves the language of criticism and does not care about the feelings of those around them. They are always sharp and critical, such as the mother's words to her child: "You are stupid and do not understand. What bad grade did you get?!”
Criticism discourages the counterparty and causes many mental illnesses, so the person should have used constructive criticism instead of the destructive method, such as the mother saying to her son, "Honey, I love you as a wonderful child. I know that you are dissatisfied with your total, and I am sure that you will be better next time."
2. Cynicism and ridicule of the other party in front of people
Many emotionally incompetent people use the making fun technique of other people to lighten the mood around them. However, this approach has a lot of drawbacks because the target of the joke feels as though their worth has been diminished and their spirit has been crushed. Honour and respect are two things a person is broken between, and any damage done to these values will expose them to many negative feelings.
Because of this, this type of person frequently suppresses these painful feelings to avoid stressing out the situation and making offensive remarks like, "What is this sensitivity that you are in? We were having fun with you, so there is no need to exaggerate things." That eventually causes that person to become more and more detached from psychological equilibrium and suffer from disturbances and conflicts.
3. Competition for negativity
An emotionally stupid person loves to focus on negative things. They can destroy your enthusiasm for a topic by showing you all the negatives and obstacles surrounding that topic. They do not recognise the positives in life and believe it is realistic for a person to think negatively. They do not acknowledge the law of focus, which states that "what you focus on grows and increases." If you focus on positive things, you will grow in judgment; if you focus on negative things, you will also increase.
4. Not listening
The emotionally stupid person does not have the skill of listening, as they tend to express their ideas only without giving the other party the space to put forward their ideas. They miss the skill of dialogue and believe that the more they speak, the more respect they get, without realising that the real intelligence is in listening to the other party, understanding their ideas, and then discussing with them to reach the nearest form of understanding.
5. Not learning from mistakes
An emotionally stupid person does not learn from their mistakes or past experiences. They constantly complain about the repetition of the same tragedies in their lives and that they are unlucky without knowing that the problem lies in their inability to derive the message from the passive events that occur to them.
6. Lack of emotional control
An emotionally stupid person tends to give their feelings the helm of their life. If they are emotional, they might act rashly, hurt people around them, and open many old files, reminding them of the wrong positions they have taken. All of these things can cause a significant gulf to form between them.
7. Reacting abusively to violent behaviour
An emotionally stupid person has a misconception about power and existence, so they find that yelling at others, disrespecting them, and responding to abuse with abuse is a form of force that makes them far from peace and psychological comfort.
8. High expectations
An emotionally stupid person builds high expectations of those around them, which makes them shocked if others do not meet those expectations. They are unaware of the difference in values between themselves and others, which results in different reactions and behaviours. Rather, they build all their expectations on the basis that others have the same values and priorities in life.
9. Obscenity of the tongue
An emotionally stupid person may express their discontent and resentment about something by using obscene words, which breaks the bridge between them and others.
10. Blasting
An emotionally stupid person tends to be inflexible. In misunderstandings, they tend to take a lot of space away from the others without giving up, talking to them, and reaching a satisfactory solution.
11. Intolerance
The emotionally stupid person tends to be intolerant, as hatred for those who annoy them or for those who do not meet their expectations is a manifestation of power and revenge for the self. They are professional at distorting their inner self and staying away from their common sense.
12. Excessive selfishness or extreme altruism
The emotionally stupid person tends to excessive selfishness or absolute altruism, that is, to imbalance, and you find them either pivoting on themselves, giving nothing to the other, or everything they have to the other and completely forgetting themselves, as if they are buying their value and existence from the other.
13. Failure to admit error
An emotionally stupid person tends not to admit their mistakes, so they blame others because they do not dare to take responsibility for their actions; instead, they master the role of the victim with distinction.
How do I get to Emotional Intelligence?
1. self-consciousness
In this step, people must sit with themselves in an honest session and ask themselves about their negative feelings, the reasons behind those feelings, the moments when they lose their psychological balance, how they express themselves in those moments, and whether that method is the most mature and sophisticated.
2. Controlling emotions
After you realise the reality of your feelings and decide that you have to manage them properly to achieve a higher quality of life, greater happiness, and stronger relationships, you will enter the field of controlling emotions. The most critical point in this field is mastering the art of neutrality.
It's important to neutralise your emotions so that you can accept responsibility for your wrong emotions. Your feelings and, consequently, your thoughts are created by how you react to something. Thoughts and feelings are very interconnected. You will only have positive thoughts if you can control your feelings first. You will have access to correct self-management when you realise that your feelings are your creation and that you are stronger than them.
3. Self-motivation
You have to be enthusiastic about changing your personality and stay positive by setting clear, specific goals, building a solid message that expresses you, and dividing the goal into small tasks so that you can measure your progress and thus maintain enthusiasm for work.
Know that life is based on the principle of gradualism, so you have to celebrate your small steps. They are the ones who will get you to what you want and desire, and know that all successful people started from very humble beginnings, but they trusted the Lord and themselves and went on their way to absolute surrender and the end in their minds.
Your goal is worth sacrificing entertainment, picnics, and social media browsing hours. Reward yourself after every accomplishment you make, regardless of how small you deserve the reward.
4. Understanding the feelings of others
Having reached the stage of self-management, feelings, and thoughts, you can understand others more deeply, respect their boundaries, values, and space, and appreciate their feelings by always putting yourself in the other's place and feeling what they feel. Then you will realise that listening is an art, respect is a value, good intention is nobility, difference is rich, intersecting with the other is a skill, commitment to honesty with the self and the other is a paradise, effective communication with others is a gain, and building (win-win) relationships between you and others is an intelligence and skill.
5. Relationship control
After you have built a personality capable of managing yourself and others, you can control the form of the relationships you form. So, they are in your interest and the interest of the other, and so that you maintain personal boundaries and critical rights for both parties.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence or stupidity is an explicit decision you make, so ensure you deserve the best relationships and the finest forms of life. You should be in control of your emotions, mature in your reactions, and wise in understanding the feelings of others. That is, emotional intelligence is appropriate for you.