They are able to motivate themselves automatically without waiting for external reinforcements because they are confident in their abilities, satisfied with themselves, and not interested in the judgments of others, which makes them a subject of their confidence.
However, for some reasons, a person's self-confidence may be weakened or lacking, causing them to fail in their emotional, social, or practical life, or even their failure to get the work they want or to seize essential opportunities despite their distinctive experiences and skills.
But the lack of self-confidence prevents them from showing their potential. It gets worse when raising a child with no confidence, so what to do then?
Lack of self-confidence in children or others can be overcome by following the points we will talk about in this article, by knowing the causes of lack of self-confidence and treating them.
Reasons for loss of self-confidence
Many researches and studies have been conducted to find out the reasons for the lack of self-confidence, and all of them relied on various life experiences, so the research found the following reasons for the lack of self-confidence:
1. Social Environment
The social environment varies from one person to another. Each of us has grown up in a particular environment represented by the home, school and neighborhood in which we live and have gone through all its stages from childhood to youth. Then, the human’s personality becomes clear. So, each person in a particular environment has left a positive or negative impact on themselves.
Man will undoubtedly become a weak individual who is only concerned with how they appear to others and lacks the courage to express their true desires if education is based on imposing control and suppressing desires and not listening to opinions, or not allowing them to think in a way that deviates from customs and traditions.
2. Human Genetic Composition
Studies confirm that 25-50% of human personality traits are inherited, and self-confidence is related to the person's genetic makeup; part of the factors to build self-confidence is present in the human brain from birth.
When the individual has a hesitant personality and is afraid to make decisions due to a lack of self-confidence, it is natural that at least one of the children has the same characteristics.
3. Surrounding influences
These are the life events that negatively impact a person, such as enthusiastically living an emotional relationship that ends in failure or divorce, being betrayed by a close friend, or being bullied by the surrounding community because of their appearance, such as overweight people.
Difficult life conditions may be the reason for the lack of self-confidence, such as poverty; Although they are conditions imposed on the person, they cause a terrible psychological condition.
4. Wrong Thinking
A person's thoughts may be the reason for their lack of self-confidence. Such as blaming themselves for minor mistakes, quick boredom, and the tendency to give up when faced with challenges that stand in the way of achieving goals because they believe they are unable to succeed, in addition to the ability to accept any negative criticism without verifying its validity. All of the above leads to poor self-esteem, lack of respect, and confidence.
5. Career failure
This often causes anxiety and depression, although it is an inaccurate criterion for human success. One may have worked in the wrong place and have skills and experience in another field but not yet discovered them, or perhaps not worked hard at the level required to gain sufficient experience, and they are often subjected to failure in their work and dismissal.
6. Affected by social networks
This shows us the lives of others in an ideal way that makes some of those who watch it feel bad due to comparing themselves to them and may lead them to imitate them and then fail to reach what they have achieved.
Causes of loss of self-confidence in children
Lack of self-confidence in children is due to the following reasons:
1. Poor parenting
Parents are primarily responsible for it. If the child is exposed to one of the manifestations of bad parenting, such as physical or verbal abuse, through extreme cruelty by talking, imposing orders and screaming, and not being allowed to act comfortably and empty the latent energies by playing or talking, there must be a defect in the construction of the child's personality.
2. Frequent frustration
The child has attempts to achieve themselves constantly through the possibilities available to them, such as drawing, coloring, dancing, trying to learn to play or helping their family with some work, but they can not succeed if they do not have a supportive environment that allows them to correct the mistake, will repeat mistakes until their mind reaches a negative result, they consider themselves a failure and stops trying not to be disappointed again.
3. Disabilities or congenital malformations
This makes the child feel that they are not like their peers, and it gets worse if they are bullied or hear negative criticism from someone.
4. Family Instability
This causes many psychological problems for the child, the child who watches family disputes or hears the sounds of quarrels constantly suffers from many involuntary problems such as urination, stuttering or stress, all of which lead to one result: their lack of confidence.
5. Comparison with others
The child is very sensitive to this matter, and as a result of repeated negative comparisons, they are unable to appreciate and respect themselves, because they were unable to achieve their parents' goals and take pride in their abilities and achievements.
6. Fear of Punishment
Some parents magnify the child's mistakes and apply punishment, forgetting that making mistakes is normal for the child and they can only learn after the mistake. They instill in the child the fear of doing any work and hesitation to make any decision for fear of its results.
What is the cure for a loss of self-confidence?
Due to the importance of self-confidence in various aspects of life, its decline or loss must be treated quickly, so here are some points to help:
1. Organizing Life
A person cannot succeed without making plans that help them reach goals. The path to success is anything that needs to be equipped with specific experiences that enable them to overcome difficulties.
So take a paper and a pen and think well about your goals in life, then determine what each goal needs to reach, and when you achieve a step on the path to success, write it down to make sure that you are able to reach and be an incentive to complete the plan when you are exposed to obstacles.
2. Avoid comparison with others
Always remember that everyone has specific abilities and attributes that God has distinguished by them, so do not compare yourself to others, whether in external appearance or social conditions and remember that social networking sites are deceptive.
A person publishes their achievements and the positive aspects of their life only, but the reality is different because each one has negatives, problems and concerns that prevent them from absolute enjoyment of life.
3. Avoid negative people
Avoid those who criticize negatively or who frustrate you by underestimating your abilities. Try to surround yourself with supportive people who listen to your problems, help solve them, and believe in your ability to always succeed.
4. Focus on the positives
This can be done by creating a list that includes the qualities you love in yourself, your achievements, and the supportive opinions and compliments you have heard; Then reviewing them whenever you go through a moment of frustration or tension about your inability to succeed at something.
5. Face your fears
This is the only way to eliminate fear; even if the result is a failure, you can try again and again because breaking the barrier of fear makes it easier to try again.
6. Self-development
By eliminating the causes of low self-confidence, for example, if your excess weight is the cause, exercise and follow a healthy diet, and if professional failure is the cause, follow training courses and benefit from the experiences of your colleagues, learn what you need to distinguish from your colleagues, such as learning new languages.
Treatment of loss of self-confidence in children
Instilling confidence in the child's soul is one of the most important tasks of parents, and this task starts from the early years of their life, and is done as follows:
1. Continuous Encouragement
This is done by focusing on the strengths and positive aspects and praising them constantly so that the child feels that they are distinguished by something but within logical limits so that they do not become arrogant, in addition to providing the appropriate conditions to show their talents and provide aid.
It is necessary not to compare them to another child or to criticize them more when they fail at something, but to guide them on how to do it better next time.
2. Not to be extravagant in punishment
Always avoid violence no matter how big the mistake is;Rather, give them the opportunity to express themselves so you can understand their thinking and correct the wrong or undesirable behavior.
3. Encourage them to express their opinion
This is done by listening to their talk and discussing the topics they want, answering all the questions, and not minimizing their feelings.
To teach them the skill of decision-making, take their opinion on some simple things, such as allowing them to choose the gifts they will give to others or what they prefer to eat.
4. Delegate some tasks to them
Depending on the child's age, they can be given some duties, such as making the bed, to increase their sense of efficiency and ability to solve problems.
5. Avoid overprotection
Such as preventing them from playing with others or doing business on their behalf; this causes them to be afraid of establishing relationships with people in the future; otherwise, they must be given the opportunity to get to know others by allowing them to play with their peers and not to interfere with them except when necessary.
In conclusion
Self-confidence is necessary at all stages of a person's life, and the reasons for its loss vary according to social circumstances, surrounding influences, the genetic makeup of the human being, their way of thinking, and their experiences. As for the child, it is related to their education and family life, the negative criticisms they are subjected to, violence compared to others, or bullying due to a specific health situation.
Self-confidence can be restored by organizing goals, focusing on positives, self-development and surrounding oneself with supportive people; An individual must follow all these points to enhance their self-confidence.
While improving the child's self-confidence is the responsibility of their parents. This can be done by refining their talents, praising them, listening to their opinion, holding them some responsibilities appropriate to their age, allowing them to make mistakes and avoiding over-protecting.
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