You constantly think about that emotion, and it sometimes even takes control of your life. By the end of the day, it becomes exhausting to keep pushing yourself, and you need to relax.
However, your mind never stops thinking, and no matter how much you try to get out of this situation, you remain stuck; and no matter how much you try, whether it is meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises, it does not work to help you, so you feel strong.
Yes, even meditation is useless in the face of these fierce feelings, so you start to believe that you will never get over it and that the pain will last forever.
The surprising reason for your strong feelings
You must trust that you will inevitably emerge from this emotional spiral, and here's how you do it: First, you must know why your feelings intensified in the first place.
Your emotions work according to the physical momentum principle, but what does that mean? Let's illustrate it with an example: Let's say that your friend borrowed your car, and when he returned, you noticed a scratch on its exterior, which spoiled the car's appearance, and you are now angry with him.
Then he shows you that he did nothing wrong. He drove cautiously, but someone crashed into him, and you are still angry and insistent that he should notice the reckless driver from a full mile away and stay away.
Then let's say you find out later that your friend didn't do anything wrong; maybe he was more careful with your car than his own, and it was bad luck for someone to crash into your car.
Now, you have no reason to stay angry. It could have happened while you were driving your car and might have hurt more.
However, your anger nevertheless involves a massive momentum accumulated from all the accusations and arguments; therefore, it refuses to go away, and this is what makes you continue to act on it and try to look for your friend's mistakes, even though you logically know that you should calm down and apologize.
You must have been in a similar situation. When your feelings are overwhelming, there is no way you can stop them, even if you realize your psychological state.
So, what should you do in this case?
Steps to take to control your emotions
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
When emotion is strong, it completely dominates your thoughts and dictates all your actions, and there is no point even in meditating and focusing at this stage. Emotional momentum is so strong that it quickly disturbs your state of mind.
But with focus, you can act rationally to counter this strong momentum. So, here is what to do: First, stay still for a few seconds, and take time to acknowledge your current physical feelings and sensations. Say to yourself: “I feel like this now; I feel like this in my body, ” for example: “I feel nervous now, and my body is getting hotter, and I am starting to shiver and sweat.” You may be tempted to ease your feelings this way, but do not do it.
Because you are focusing on the same feelings in the first place, which will only amplify them, don't talk to yourself in this way for a long time, not for more than a minute. To take the appropriate action next without being influenced by emotion or confusion, all it takes is a brief moment of concentration.
2. Confronting Emotion
When you have a sweeping feeling, it is impossible to eliminate it directly, and anything you do increases its intensity, which is a lot like meditation. People make the mistake of trying to stop their thoughts constantly. Instead, their minds ruminate more.
The problem is that you can't decide to stop thinking when you want; you need to occupy your mind with something else. Similarly, your feelings are multiplying now and getting out of control, and whatever you do with concentration, meditation, or self-talk will never work; on the contrary, it will only worsen the situation.
It can be frightening, so how can you confront these emotions that won't go away and are currently taking control of your life? Avoiding it and taking no action to stop it is not the solution. Allow the feeling to pass, but keep in mind that doing so does not entail ruminating while doing so. Here is what you should do instead.
3. Do Something Fun
It's that easy. Just leave and have fun. In other words, focus on indirectly reducing your emotions rather than directly confronting and feeding them. That is, you must do something completely different, preferably enjoyable. As a result, you divert your thoughts from the depleting feelings in your life and stop feeding them.
All that you need to do now is wait for your feelings to dampen and naturally carry out their momentum. That does not necessarily mean distracting you and trying to ignore it; just avoid delving into emotion and fueling it.
But why should something exclusively fun be done? And why don't you get a job done? When you are dominated by emotion, you become paralyzed, and your mind refuses to do anything but delve into it, but it is easy to do pleasant and light things that quickly calm you down.
It doesn't matter what fun activity you choose as long as you love it enough to try to get over it; you only need to do something that draws your attention.
4. Leave the Situation
You sometimes remain trapped in an emotion because everything around you excites it. Let's say you get into an argument with someone and become enraged, and now you want to calm down. What is the most rational act you can do? Get away.
It is almost impossible to calm down in the middle of a heated argument, and as we explained earlier, even if you reach an agreement, you will still be willing to argue more.
When you step away from the argument, the momentum of your anger begins to fade, and you calm down as soon as it reaches its natural end, and only then can you have a productive, rational discussion.
That applies to all your other problems. When you have insomnia at night and can't sleep, only get up and do something else, first calm down, then try to sleep again, and when the empty house after losing a loved one reminds you of your sadness, go on a trip and get away from it for a while if you can.
That is how you'll feel when you're free of your strong feelings
You will appreciate your regular life once you realize you have regained control over your emotional outburst. The sun looks brighter, the grass is greener, you will feel a fresh breeze that caresses your skin and gives you a good feeling, and the natural world will seem like a paradise.
But remember that emotions don't have buttons that turn them off, and they stay off for life. They get released from them little by little. There may be setbacks occasionally, but they are also part of the recovery process.
In conclusion
When you are overwhelmed by a sweeping emotion, you will feel like you have entered an endless tunnel, but this is untrue. Instead of an endless tunnel, think of it as just an ordinary tunnel like trains pass through, and you must cross these tunnels to get to where you want, and no matter how deep you are, you can be sure that you will get to the other end.
Don't lose hope. You now know very well that you will be fine, your strong feelings will pass, and no matter what happens, you will inevitably return to normal again.
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