The goal is to recognize the impact of your words by choosing them carefully. The following communication tips are efficient, and try to keep your relationship with your parents, children, siblings, colleagues, managers, friends, and acquaintances healthy.
Three communication tips to improve your relationships
1. Stick to your words
That is a measure that proves your integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, and that you deserve respect. You have to stick to your words if you want to be known for these qualities, and your word to have weight and importance.
We all know that there are things that happen that contradict our responsibilities, plans, and schedules, so you have to talk from your reality according to your schedule, commitments, responsibilities, and plans. Pay attention to your promises and do not talk about your intentions unless you explicitly mention them.
For example, if you say, "I will try to do it today," you are speaking based on your intention rather than saying, "I will do it today," which indicates a promise. Using phrases such as "I will try," "I will do my best," or "I intend" will avoid expectations and strict and binding promises. Promises give expectations that break and lead to disappointment, resentment, and mistrust are not easy to overcome, especially if they happen constantly.
2. Ask for what you need
We all have needs, and sometimes we need things from others, but we do not ask them for the following reasons:
- We fear losing someone, a job, safety, respect, love, or looking weak.
- We don't feel worthy enough to ask for or even deserve our needs to be met.
- We may not know what we need, so how can we expect to get it?
Most people need to feel loved, safe, supported, respected, and valued, but not everyone is aware of that. So, don't assume that the other person knows what you need. If you don't ask for it, it's best to adjust your expectations because you'll feel frustrated when you're not given what you need.
Recognizing the need for help and asking for it is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength, courage, respect, and self-esteem; everyone deserves to get what they need. Never tell others what they do not have to do; Rather, tell them: “I want you to…,” and if possible, tell them why; in general, they will feel satisfied with their ability to help, because they like to feel needed.
3. Write a message to the other party
Do you live with someone who doesn't like anyone to talk to them the moment they get home? Or do you work with someone you can't talk to before they have their coffee in the morning?
Write down what you want to tell them or ask them, and leave your message in a visible place for them to see when they arrive home or at work. Be accurate, give directions and details, if necessary, make it easy for them so they don’t have to guess, and be aware of their needs, schedules, and responsibilities. This will be advantageous for all parties:
- You won’t need to remember what you want to say or ask the other party, and you will get rid of any “negative” feelings. Write them down and relieve yourself of them.
- The other person will read the notes when they are ready. To prevent them from anticipating "bad news" or think that they need to do something unpleasant, challenging, or time-consuming, leave notes in which you express your gratitude and love for the person at different intervals.
Look for things the other person does without asking, and thank them. That is a kind of positive reinforcement. Avoid using general phrases as much as possible. Rather, choose specific things. Positive reinforcement, especially if it is unexpected, is great to modify one's behavior. It guarantees the repetition of constructive behavior.
The note should contain phrases, such as “Please” and “Thank you” and smiling faces, along with the right choice of words to avoid misinterpretation.
We teach our children etiquette and tact, but as we get older, it seems many of us stop using them altogether. Communication is an essential part of any relationship, so by being aware of the language and the right timing, you can ensure the success of any relationship.
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