Take businessman Lindsay Fox, for instance. The guy grew up with a rough-and-tumble dad and lived with the wealthiest in Australia, alongside the likes of Christina Aguilera, Gloria Steinem, Billy Hudson, and, of course, the one and only Oprah Winfrey.
However, you don't often hear about what psychologists call "post-traumatic growth." In an informal survey conducted by Professor Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, only 10% of participants were familiar with the term. In contrast, for the opposite condition, "post-traumatic disorder," 97% of those surveyed were familiar with it.
According to the professor, if you only know about the bad fallout from tough times, you're likely to assume it's the only outcome. Therefore, most of us go through life trying to dodge those curveballs.
When life gets tough—and it will—you'll likely feel blue. It's the automatic response. But what most people need to realize is that growth, or at least resilience, is the true natural response. Feeling angry, bitter, sad, or needing a good cry when something terrible happens doesn't mean you're falling apart; it just means you're human.
Six Factors of Post-Traumatic Growth
Understanding that learning and growing from hardships is just one piece of the puzzle, here are six other post-traumatic growth factors that might explain why some people bounce back while others don't:
1. Spirituality
A study by psychologists Justin O'Rourke, Benjamin Tallman, and Elizabeth Altmaier in 2008 found a tight connection between spirituality and post-traumatic growth. They found that forgiveness is a sign of post-traumatic growth. Therefore, letting go of resentment and retaliation is essential if you wish to heal after experiencing a trauma.
2. Social Support
Research suggests that people who face adversity alone are more likely to crumble. Unfortunately, men tend to deal with grief alone and try to mask their vulnerabilities, which diminishes their chances for growth after trauma. But in most cases, those who surround themselves with supportive people become stronger.
If you think only friends and family can provide support, think again. Support from strangers who've been through similar ordeals can be just as beneficial. This is evident in supportive online communities or forums.
3. Expressing Feelings
When you read success stories of those who've overcome hardships, you'll notice they often had someone to talk to and share their struggles with. Whether it's Oprah turning to her mom when her husband mistreated her or anyone else, having a safe space to unload emotions is crucial.
Research indicates that having a safe outlet for emotional release is a significant factor in post-traumatic growth, so expressing your feelings and pains is crucial.
The best part is that you don't really need another person to confide in. You can write in your journals or record your voice. All you need is half an hour a day.
4. Changing Your Perspective
Your perception of adversity is important in determining whether you'll grow or crumble while facing it. For instance, if you believe getting fired is a blessing in disguise, pushing you toward a better future, you'll feel better about it.
The people around you are your biggest sources of diverse perspectives. When people face adversity, they often get so wrapped up in their suffering that they shut themselves off from other viewpoints. It often takes someone else to point them out.
One of the most popular resources for learning about different perspectives is books. For example, reading about Harland David Sanders' failures to sell his chicken recipe for years might make you feel better about losing your job.
5. Taking Decisive Action
People who act decisively are more likely to recover from shocks. Making firm decisions means they're trying to change their situation instead of wallowing in despair. For instance, survivors of natural disasters who actively engage in rebuilding their communities are more likely to grow than those who remain trapped by their circumstances. This also applies to cancer survivors adopting healthier lifestyles or unemployed individuals launching their ventures.
So, what's the decisive action to take when you lose someone close? Grief. Society imposes many misconceptions about grief, like that people should recover after a certain time, that men shouldn't cry, that you should hide your sadness, and so on. Often, these misconceptions hinder decisive action and reduce the likelihood of post-traumatic growth.
6. Avoiding Turning to Food as a Distraction
Overeating during times of sorrow to distract yourself can lead to a sort of addiction, such as overindulging in sweets. Contrary to what many people think, indulging in sweets after emotional turmoil won't lift you out of depression; it might even prolong it. There are two reasons for that: sugar depletes Vitamin B, is responsible for mood improvement, and drains chromium from your body, which is crucial for maintaining stable blood sugar levels. Low blood sugar levels can trigger depression, and if you can't feel contentment, you can't grow.
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