Note: This article is taken from the blogger Douglas Cartwright, in which he tells us about living our lives as we see fit.
The English poet John Donne once said, “Any man's death diminishes me because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” However, the worst fate is to die internally while still alive.
This happens when you ruin your growth and development by allowing others to diminish your worth, marginalize you, and prevent you from being the best version of yourself. Therefore, it's crucial to understand that living in constant fear of others' opinions is harmful.
Do Others' Opinions Truly Matter?
Yes, you are alive, but it's a miserable and fearful life. This is not how one should live. If you're fortunate enough to gain a moment of clarity, you'll realize that millions of people don't live this way. They lead happy and stable lives. From there, you can begin questioning your current situation and initiate changes. As you become older and wiser, you'll understand the insignificance of others' opinions regarding your value. The trick lies in realizing this early on and investing your time wisely. The desire to please others instead of living the life you want has crushed many dreams and continues to hinder countless people.
I have personally experienced difficult and unfavorable circumstances in life, which have led some to suicide. However, they were never as dire for me because I'm still here and content. If there's one thing I've learned in life, I am happy. So, don't be stupid and live your life. If you don't live on your terms, you'll end up living on theirs.
The Most Crucial Excellence Criterion
To become great, prioritize yourself and your opinions. Stop caring about what others think of you. It may seem selfish and unbelievably arrogant, so allow me to explain:
You must express your viewpoint and rise above others' rejection. If you truly want to help them gain knowledge and understanding, you will have to do things that people may find difficult or disagreeable. We hope they'll eventually comprehend it, but you need to know that you've done the right thing even if they don't.
Greatness is stifled when we worry too much about what others think of us. I'm not saying we should never care about others' opinions. However, granting others the authority to question our worth means we'll live forever, seeking their approval. They'll continue their lives while we wait for a smile or a nod from them. Will this make you angry enough to change it now?
Apart from the fact that we're social beings and a certain level of approval is necessary for coexistence, the harsh truth is that you don't fully accept yourself. Therefore, you're looking for others' approval.
It's been said that "humans' deepest desire is to be appreciated." Indeed, you will always be a prisoner to others' perceptions unless you learn to value yourself. Still, we don't believe we can accept ourselves because we've blinded ourselves to our unique abilities and accepted the limitations imposed by others. We can't escape the sad fact that our minds tend to confirm our ideas. It takes guts to disagree with what others think of us. Furthermore, we give people grounds to question our value because we want others' opinions of us. That's first-class stupidity and a soul-crushing execution.
What gives someone else the authority to assess our value? Aren't they just like us? Weren't they born just like us?
Understanding the Truth
You free yourself from the desire to be perceived favorably by others when you understand and absorb everything mentioned and realize that we frequently evaluate ourselves using insignificant labels.
Do others know our secrets, dreams, and desires? Do they know all the good deeds we've done in secret? Do they comprehend our happiness, grief, low points, and the loneliness we experience at night? So, how can they make rational assessments of us and actually comprehend the experiences we've had? Or can you know all these things about them?
As Confucius said, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.” So, it's time to deal with what people genuinely know and can do with a little humility. They don't truly know you; you only know what you've seen and heard about them.
After several years, I no longer care about what other people think of me or how valuable they think I am. Therefore, it is not with contempt that I emphasize how important this is.
There's a saying in self-help: 'What you focus on grows and evolves.' Also, what you allow evolves within your mind. When I realised I could believe in my intrinsic worth, I began genuinely evaluating myself. Once I had learned to value myself, it was simple for me to appreciate others. Additionally, it became simple to ignore other people's behavior when I could appreciate them because there were more important things to consider, like assisting them in realizing their worth.
Eventually, you'll realize that everyone is as valuable as you are. It has nothing to do with looks or financial standing. Therefore, we must regard ourselves as having equal value, whether it's me, you, or anyone else doing something valuable in this world.
In Conclusion
Society's current path encourages us to assess ourselves based on superficial categories like beauty, wealth, and occupation. However, all of this is ultimately pointless and has disastrous results.
You hurt yourself and others when you let other people diminish your worth. So, refrain from doing that and focus on doing good. It is natural for people to strive for greatness and to grow. Stay loyal to who you are, and you'll discover greater happiness and develop into an all-around better person along the way. Paradoxically, to do something valuable for others, you must stop caring about their opinions of you if you choose to do things they disapprove.
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