How Do You Define Your Sub-Personalities, and How Do You Invest in Their Presence?

Subpersonalities are not a new phenomenon. In personality psychology, a subpersonality is "a personality situation that activates or emerges temporarily to allow a person to deal with certain psychosocial situations".

Most of the important decisions in my life were made when the strongest side of me - one of my sub-personalities - took over or, to be more precise when one of those personalities hacked into my personality and took out all the other voices in my head from quitting jobs to leaving my marriage. Those decisions weren't based on the mind, Rather on the needs of one of the many children in me.

Subpersonalities develop as a result of our environment. For example, suppose we grow up with parents who are overly critical of us. In that case, we will be very critical of ourselves, which over time will develop the voice of our parents to the point that our parents will constantly scold us without seeing them, or if we do not receive much love or attention as children or as adults, we are likely to make mistakes to gain appreciation from others or to seek love and acceptance in ways that sometimes put us at risk.

Or if we're obsessed with taking risks, our sub-personality is probably trying to transcend what's going on in the present, and the list is endless.

What will happen when these parts overwhelm our lives and derail us?

Within us lives all the tender, sensitive energies of the child in us, who watches the world closely, gets hurt easily, and destroys this side of us when a sub-personality decides to implement what seems to be the “safest” and most logical solution to a problem.

Suppose we take internal criticism, for example. In that case, it becomes cynical and suspicious, which destroys our ability to empathize and offer love unconditionally. In such a case, we bury important and nice aspects of ourselves, which are buried so deeply that their disappearance often harms our existence.

Several books have been written on this subject. Critic Hal Stone called for inner criticism, and Hal did a great job explaining the distractions we might face as we become teenagers and adults. Most personality psychologists and others stress the importance of the practice of psychogenesis, a psychological exercise between therapist and patient aimed at integrating different personalities into a calm and practical entity, but how can we identify those sub-personalities that sometimes dominate our lives?

First, we must analyze what we feel with courage and frankness. If we feel overjoyed or sad, if we feel fluctuating too often in the absence of a diagnosed mood disorder, we're likely to be at the mercy of the children inside of us, like the tantrums we had when we didn't get what we wanted as children, and rejoice minutes later. When we get something alternative, now as adults, we feel irrationally resentful for what someone said or did. We find distractions in other things to escape the frustration and anger towards the "offender".

An example of this is: An introvert may feel restless in a large group of people, yet they hate those who act cold during wild parties. It helps them move forward, but it also caters to the needs of other subpersonalities (such as the child in them), in which case that person loses their focus in favor of a more substantial or louder voice.

Then we must realize that behind this environment of mental chatter there is an atmosphere of peace, abundance, and wellness; It transcends the way we have been raised, the personalities we have been forced to develop to cope, and the challenges we face today, and it is in this space of contentment that we connect with our higher self, and can feel the power and vitality that has always been there despite all the chaos, darkness, and crazy feeling that may be. We feel it internally, and in this space, we can also observe our parts at work and begin to make genuinely logical, sensitive, and safe decisions.

Balancing

For balance, when you feel yourself starting to veer off course, try the following:

• Close your eyes, take deep breaths, just breathe in, and that's it.
• When you close your eyes and identify the different voices, you will notice at first that there is often a battle of opinions. You will also notice that one of these parts will win until you find a better or worse point to focus your attention on, that is, find it if possible.
• Explore all the penalties and benefits of taking sides.
• Now, imagine that you are watching this discussion from afar, and then realize in this space of clarity and reason that only you are responsible.
• Then make a decision from here, and tell everyone you need to go in a different direction.

In conclusion

As with all practices, over time, you will find it easier to hear the voices of your subpersonalities as they are. They are songs you can pause or stop playing, and you can ignore them forever.