Granting Yourself Another Chance: Starting Anew After Failure

I had many goals when chaos began to disrupt my life during the COVID-19 pandemic.  I was resolute in not allowing my time at home to change my routine—whether it was maintaining my exercise regimen resisting feelings of despair wasting time on my phone or watching TV. Instead, I made the decision to learn new skills and utilize my time to genuinely improve myself.

Note: This article is based on the work of Scott Bedgood, who tells us about the importance of following up after failure by giving ourselves another chance.

However, upon reflecting on these goals, I can't help but chuckle. Despite setting some boundaries over the past two months, I didn't adhere to them as I should have.

I've noticed some weight gain lately, mainly because, to be honest, I haven't been keeping up with my workouts for several weeks. While I made attempts to go for runs, it often felt like just an excuse to get out of the house for a bit, and I didn't stick with it consistently. On top of that, my eating habits haven't been as healthy as I'd hoped. However, I've developed a newfound love for toasted brown bread, and I've found myself spending a lot of time on social media. It's almost as if I could write a whole article about the bad habits I've started to pick up.

On the flip side, I can also reflect on the positives. I've become remarkably skilled at managing the kitchen, creating dishes I never imagined I'd be able to make. My wife and I have also faced the challenge of caring for our two-month-old son mostly on our own, and we've managed to navigate parenthood with resilience and determination. Moreover, I've managed to make ends meet by working as a freelance writer even in the toughest times for freelancers. Additionally, I finally finished reading a book I'd been trying to complete for the past two years.

But you know what truly fills me with pride during that period? (And this is something I think everyone needs to prioritize, given we're all navigating a completely uncertain future.) What I'm most proud of is granting myself another opportunity after stumbling several times.

I wrote an article about Robin Sharma's book The 5 AM Club last year, and when I spoke to Sharma about waking up early every day, I asked him if he ever slept in. Although he had been waking up at 5 AM every day for decades and wrote a book encouraging others to do the same, not to mention he never took a day off, however, his answer surprised and encouraged me. He said, "I stumble all the time, and I think most people do too. Every day is about battling destructive thoughts and getting back on track."

Undoubtedly, there are plenty of destructive thoughts in our daily lives—not just when we're stuck at home—that veer us away from our goals. At this stage, it's crucial to grant yourself another chance.

For me, it was essential to give myself another chance when it came to fitness. I've never been particularly passionate about sports, but I managed to maintain a decent level of fitness before the arrival of my child and the stay-at-home orders. What kept me from gaining weight was playing indoor soccer weekly, in addition to going to the gym twice a week. et, when that routine was disrupted, I found it challenging to muster the motivation to exercise at home. Days of laziness turned into weeks—two or three weeks, to be precise—until I finally took a hard look at myself and realized that I wouldn't be able to perform even the simplest tasks or revert to my previous shape.

I didn't change my ways immediately; it took a few days and a supportive group of friends who could hold me accountable. With their encouragement and recognition that they've gone through similar struggles, I was able to invest in a subscription to online workout programs. After finding one that aligned with my goals, I started following it. My trainer's constant reminder was, "Give it your all and let go of the rest.

At first, my "best effort" wasn't impressive at all. I could barely finish the first exercise, and that was at the beginner level! Surprisingly, my friends didn't judge; they were in the same boat, feeling just as worn out as I was. Having companions facing similar challenges was incredibly encouraging. Though the weight I gained didn't vanish overnight, I found satisfaction in my efforts. Those weeks of inactivity didn't seem like setbacks anymore because I had just finished a week of consistent training. Will there be days when I skip a workout? Certainly. But instead of spiraling into a cycle of laziness, I've learned to forgive myself for those days and start fresh the next.

Here are some insights I've gained on granting myself another opportunity and embarking on a fresh start towards achieving my goals. These tips are applicable across different facets of life, whether it's fitness aspirations, professional objectives, parenting challenges, or any other endeavors. So, keep them in mind whenever you find yourself lacking the drive to recommence after facing setbacks.

Leave The Past Behind

For some, anger over failure might serve as a driving force, while for others, it could have the opposite effect. Regardless, dwelling on past mistakes isn't productive. Instead, concentrate on what you aim to accomplish today and take actionable steps toward your goals.

Start Small

I knew that after weeks of minimal physical activity, it wouldn't be wise to jump into an intense exercise program right away. Hence, I began with a modest 25-minute workout each day, ensuring it didn't exhaust me to the point of quitting. This approach not only allowed me to regain my fitness gradually but also helped me establish a daily habit that would pave the way for a more rigorous program in the future.

Consider applying this principle to other aspects of life. For instance, if you aim to read a book per week, try reading one book per month instead, or start with a shorter book to ease into the habit. If your goal is to eat healthier, rather than radically changing your diet overnight, begin by incorporating one salad dish into your meals daily or substituting dessert with a piece of fruit. The key is to take small, manageable steps that keep you motivated and moving in the right direction.

Seeking Accountability

Accountability is always important, but it becomes especially crucial when everyone is physically apart.  It's easy to lose discipline when no one is watching. That's why it's beneficial to connect with someone close to you, share your aspirations and goals, and support each other in forming and sticking to new positive habits.

I didn't start exercising again until I shared it with those close to me. I had been contemplating it for weeks, but it didn't materialize until I found someone who encouraged me, offered to join me, and made me feel like I wasn't alone. That's when I committed to exercising again.

Dealing With Each Day As It Comes

Starting a new streak only requires one day. You might not be able to commit to 30 consecutive days of exercise starting on a Monday, but you can certainly exercise on Monday and again on Tuesday. It's not an instant transformation; it's about dedicating yourself to making today the day you take a step forward. Yesterday is irrelevant, and tomorrow is beyond your control. All you can do is make choices for today. So, regardless of what you're aiming to begin, don't dwell on the duration or the difficulty. Simply concentrate on what needs to be done today.

These are indeed peculiar times, and navigating them can leave us feeling unsure and unsettled. It's important to grant yourself forgiveness for any slip-ups or missteps you may have encountered while adapting to this new normal. Instead of dwelling on past errors, focus on moving forward. Remember, a brighter tomorrow begins with making positive choices today.