5 Ways Smart People Influence Themselves

Leadership is about influence, but the most important person you can influence is yourself, so what is the best way to do that?

How do smart people influence themselves?

Here are five ways smart people influence themselves:

1. Accept what is out of your control

Know what you can change, make the necessary change, and if you can't change it, learn to live with it. This means changing your attitude towards the uncontrollable.

You learn to live with things by coming to terms with them. Worrying about something is not a good way to solve problems, but it becomes the default unless you replace it with something else. So if you come to terms with it, you will stop worrying about it.

Worrying about something you can't change is like falling into a hole and digging it more and more instead of getting out of it. You feel like you're doing something, but it makes things worse. By avoiding worrying, you make room for new opinions and ideas.

The lives of each of us have positive and negative dimensions. So let go of the things that are out of your control and invest your energy in achieving the things you can control. Your attitude is the starting point.

2. Let go of the past

Pointing out the actions or shortcomings of others will do you no good, yet we do not shy away from doing so with ourselves. So focus on how to create a better future instead of wondering why you have a bad past. We learn from the past, but we don't live in it. We learn from it and invest in the future when we focus on the present. Our bright future depends on today.

Preparation today will reduce the need for repairs tomorrow. So meditate on the beauty of today so that it becomes evident around you. If you postpone it for the future, you will never feel its beauty. If you focus on the past, you have already missed it.

3. Focus on what matters

Life is full of misleading roads. So do not waste your physical and emotional energy on trivial matters, and this will help reduce what the American writer Marshall Goldsmith calls living by proxy. Living by proxy gets you nowhere, and you do so by focusing your attention on television, gossip, and your gossip groups.

It's easy to talk about the exploits of the Kardashians, Bill Cosby's latest nervous breakdown, or the most exciting piece of news about a mutual acquaintance, only to fall into the trap of talking about others instead of figuring out how you can make a difference.

Many of our daily discussions are filled with empty talk, most of it irrelevant, so is the investment really worth it? What is worth ten hours, ten days, or ten years from now?

Thinking about the future importance of things will help you determine their present value. You can debate, discuss, argue, and prove yourself right, but is it all worth it? Train your brain to adopt a 10/10/10 approach before you waste time on fruitless arguments.

4. Invest in yourself

This is not a selfish act. If you do not take care of yourself, you cannot take care of others. This may mean allocating some money, time, and energy to spend on your own growth and personal development. Investing in yourself allows you to invest in others, and this is the natural course of life. So you cannot give others what you do not have.

5. Adopt feedback as an opportunity to be transparent

Feedback allows you to acquire new information and skills, but it also makes you more transparent, as it enhances acceptance of your truth. Feedback is not about pleasing others; rather, it is one of the practices by which you get to know yourself.

Your increased personal curiosity and openness are attractive. This type of person is usually trustworthy, optimistic, flexible, level-headed, and cheerful. These traits are all a product of transparency. People are not attracted to perfection but rather to transparency.

In conclusion

Influencing yourself in a world that constantly pressures you to conform is life's greatest challenge. This may immobilize you as long as there will be someone who is richer, more beautiful, smarter, stronger, younger, and wiser than you, but the paradox is that the more you influence yourself to be who you are, the more people will love you, and you will love yourself as well.