4 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulation (Part 2)

There are emotionally manipulative people of varying degrees all around us. When we were young, we thought we were immune to psychological pressures that confuse, manipulate, and affect others.

In the first part of the article, we discussed emotional manipulation and mentioned the example of the Jonestown story. Then, we talked about basic human needs and applicability and acquiescence. Finally, we mentioned the rational justifications for irrational behavior. In this part of the article, we will discuss other ideas. So, follow up with us.

Weapons of power and manipulation

Renowned social psychologist Robert Cialdini studied how and why people acquiesce in work situations. He identified a set of principles called "weapons of influence." Although he looked at work-related events and interactions, his principles apply to inappropriate relationships involving manipulation.

If you look closely, you will quickly notice the connection between Cialdini's principles and the basic needs we mentioned in the first part of the article.

Cialdini's weapons of influence

1. Reciprocity

"But they did so much for me." When you feel that you owe someone, you are affected by the law of reciprocity. Jim Jones constantly reminded his followers of all he had done for them and how he had saved them. Someone emotionally manipulates you if they keep mentioning what they do or have done for you.

This principle applies to giving free samples to promote a product and to someone doing you an unrequested favor so that they can ask for one in return. The goal is to make you feel obligated to reciprocate.

2. Commitment and constancy

If people openly commit themselves verbally or in writing to an idea or goal, they are more likely to respect that commitment. We like to appear stable and dependable to ourselves and others. To suddenly stop following orders or abandon deeply held beliefs is impossible for many, even as evidence mounts to disprove such beliefs.

3. The collective mind

People will do the things other people do. We may assume something is okay because most people are doing it, or everyone is unlikely to be wrong.

This thinking is why people become "victims of fashion" or "victims of belonging to a certain group." This is complicated because it is not just mindless blindness on our part.

Hundreds of years ago, humans needed to establish strong social bonds and watch for other people's behavioral cues to survive in a world filled with predators. This is still helpful in some ways, but manipulators can easily take advantage of this.

4. Power

People obey authority figures, even if asked to do unfair actions. Authority figures have many different forms and types.

5. Admiration

People are easily persuaded and manipulated by other people they like. However, likable people might need to do more nice things, and here lies the problem.

Cialdini stated that people tend to buy from people they like, or buy things they like. We also tend to like attractive people, and it's no coincidence that group leaders are charismatic and likable.

6. Scarcity

Something will be in high demand if it appears to be scarce. Applying the scarcity principle might be done by using phrases like "limited time offer," "while supplies last," or "only for the first 100 buyers."

It can be used in manipulative relationships by saying, "You will never meet anyone else like me." It implies that they are rare and, thus, more valuable to you. Jim Jones put it this way: "The people's temple" is the only place you can be saved.

4 smart ways to protect yourself

To protect yourself from excessive and malicious manipulation by organizations and individuals, you need to:

1. Realize that shady promises lure you with gains and threaten you with loss. This is a tool all manipulators use to manipulate beliefs and behavior.
2. Understand that if your emotional and physical needs are not adequately met, you become more vulnerable to manipulation by anyone willing to exploit this gap. Just understanding this can help protect you from falling victim to them.
3. Observe how Cialdini's weapons of influence work in daily life and indirectly relate to basic human needs.
4. Stay calm. A calm mind can see the world more clearly and objectively.

In conclusion

Most people and organizations do not exploit or manipulate others sinisterly, but terrible things can happen when they do, as Jim Jones' followers discovered.

Therefore, we must live by choice rather than by chance. So, instead of making excuses, make changes. Rather than being manipulative, be passionate. Focus on excellence rather than rivalry. Decide to follow your inner voice rather than what other people think.

If you feel you are in a manipulative relationship, know that you are not alone, as many of us suffer from this. Some manipulators will try to mess with your head, but you can stand up for yourself. It is about arming yourself with awareness.