3 Ways to Stay Resilient and Adaptable

I have never had peace of mind. No one has ever told me that for once in my life. I have always assumed that there is a genetic or hereditary reason for not being calm or patient. I became devastated when things got worse or went wrong.

Note: This article is by Erin Falconer, who shares the most important ways to maintain cognitive flexibility that she learned from her favorite dog.

I had good coping skills, but they were not effective unless we considered consuming unhealthy, junk foods to be good to help us deal with our pain. The sad fact was that I felt hopeless and unable to hold on if my expectations were not met or things did not go as I wanted.

I have waited a long time for my life to change and go as I like, but I finally realized that life does not go that way. No matter how much we hope and pray for it, or how hard we sometimes try, none of our wishes or desires will ever come true.

Life is usually challenging and complex, which is something you need to understand. You will often not get what you want. Most of us certainly do not get what we deserve in this life. We only get what is destined for us, while our success in this life depends on our ability to adapt to circumstances, seize opportunities, and learn from our mistakes.

It is true that I finally realized this, but I did not change overnight. It took me a long time to wake up from my naivety and live the life I wanted. Strangely enough, my dog inspired me to change my life. Its happiness caught my attention all the time and, in all circumstances, when I watched it, I learned three ways to maintain flexibility and adaptability.

Ways to Stay Resilient

Here is how to do this:

1. Seize the morning and invest it in the best way possible

I noticed that my dog wakes up every morning happy and full of joy, and there is no reason not to do so. It always rushes to cuddle in my arms, wiggling its tail back and forth, excited for a new day to come. I decided to wake up in the morning and start fresh instead of wishing every day that my life would be different.

Whatever the previous day's events were, morning is always a new opportunity to change your attitudes, outlook on life, mood, and thoughts. So, I decided to invest in it and struggled every day until it became a daily habit. Now, I start my morning with some light exercise, and then I take my dog out for a walk to get some fresh air, even if the weather is cold or I feel sleepy.

2. Use your Senses

Every time I walk my dog, I notice it is always alert, tries to smell around, and listens to external sounds. Here, I realized that I had never paid attention to what was around me due to my obsessive overthinking, where I stared at my feet or phone while losing myself in my negative and pessimistic thoughts. Now, my mind is present at every moment of my day.

I look up to the sky to enjoy its beautiful blue color, observe the clouds as they extend over the horizon, take a deep breath, enjoy the cold and refreshing winter air, and thank the Lord for those blessings.

In addition, I hear the sound of the last of the falling leaves crunching beneath passers' feet. After that, I cuddle up in my scarf and savor its comforting warmth, which reminds me to be thankful for the little things in life.

3. Demonstrate empathy and affection

When I return home, my dog greets me eagerly, wraps around me, and never leaves me. It even sits next to me on the couch for many hours until I’m done writing my articles. Its tenderness does not translate into anything practical. However, I draw inspiration from it and follow its example by smiling at passers-by on the street, greeting them, helping people in the subtlest ways, and praising friends and strangers alike.

No wonder helping and pleasing others makes me feel so happy and comfortable. For example, sending my sister a card for no reason other than expressing my love and longings, bringing one of my co-workers his favorite snack, or paying the bill on behalf of my friends after drinking coffee with them—all of that contributes to my happiness.

As for the relationship of all this to flexibility and adaptability, I am now a happier person, not because I am perfect in my job, family, or friends, nor because I have a lot of money, a perfect body, or a wonderful apartment, nor because I am about to get married or pregnant and will have my first child, but because I feel thankful and grateful.

I realize that despite all the things I do not have in my life, there are hundreds or thousands of blessings that I even have to appreciate and thank the Lord for having in my life. Now, when things do not go the way I wish, it does not affect me at all because I know in my heart that I have many great blessings; in addition, several reasons in my life make me feel happy.

I allow myself to experience feelings of sadness, anger, or pain, but I do not allow those feelings to overwhelm me or consume my energies. I feel them, and then I move on with my life. I wake up every morning as if it were a new beginning and greet my neighbors while the first snowflakes fall around me. Now that I could see the broader picture and understand the outside world around me more clearly, I realized that all these moments are only small moments in a much greater scene. I allow myself to be happy instead of chasing happiness in vain.