10 Simple Tips for Dealing with Aggression

Over the years, many questions have been asked about why aggressive behavior exists. What could be the motives behind this potentially dangerous and deadly act?

Note: This article is based on the blog of Gideon Augustine Obonugo, who offers 10 tips for dealing with aggression.

Or does it mean that there is a social force that dictates each person's level of aggression? Speaking of motives, a person cannot become aggressive without the influence of an external force or someone else, as Newton's law says: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

To achieve this, the aggressor may ignite the atmosphere with thoughts or feelings of anger and direct hatred towards the wronged person, and when thinking about that, the level of adrenaline rises, anger fills the air, and aggressive behavior begins.

Recently, I had to deal with aggression when my family was exposed to crises and stresses as a result of an accident that my father had, which affected his left humerus bone, his thigh bone, and his leg. During that period, I became very aggressive with my family, my fiancee, and even the people around me at every moment. Unintentionally, it took that time and focus to get rid of that darkness.

Aggression is an intentional or unintentional act or behavior that aims to cause physical or psychological pain to another. Aggression was also defined, according to Ludy T. Benjamin, Roy Hopkins, and Jack R. Nation, as an aversive behavior practiced on someone who rejects it.

Types of aggression

Aggression can be classified into destructive and persuasive

1. Destructive aggressiveness

It is an attempt to hit or attack a person out of anger and hatred, which leads to pain, discomfort, turmoil, and anxiety.

Adults and even children can practice destructive aggression, and in most cases, destructive aggression may not lead to an attack on another person, but one may direct their aggression from one person to another. At this stage, the individual may not be ready to fight, but they continue to frustrate everyone who stands in their way.

In the case of destructive aggression, a single event can lead to a chain of events that leads to destructive behavior directed towards a suspected or innocent victim. Imagine that you are at a public gathering and your older, muscular colleague embarrasses you in front of a lady. At that moment, you will feel angry, and you may explode in the face of anyone who gets in your way, and then you will transfer your anger.

2. Aggressiveness of persuasion

Anyone who has practiced this type of aggressiveness can find it beneficial and use it to attract attention and appreciation. This type of aggressiveness is called persuasion aggression because it helps to enhance the desired results. Children love this aggression in order to get what they want from their parents.

Imagine a child crying, whimpering, or throwing things in order to get the attention of their parents. If they continue to do so, after a while, their parents will have to provide for their needs.

Once the child succeeds, they will see this aggression as a way to get anything they want from their parents or any adult who comes their way. The aggressiveness of persuasion is not related to violence but rather to how goals are achieved.

Although aggressiveness is innate, it takes two people to discover it, and there must be a reason for the person to be aggressive. Psychologists agree that there are many things that can be responsible for aggression, and despite the unity among psychologists, the basic question of why some people act aggressively while others do not has not been answered precisely.

Research indicates that aggression is more likely to occur when a person is unable to feel the hurt they or their victims feel after the attack.

Causes of aggression

It is believed that the cause of aggression is due to the following reasons:

Social conditions

Imagine that you leave the house for an important business meeting that is scheduled for 9 a.m. and take a taxi to get to your destination. After ten minutes, the taxi gradually slows down, and the driver stops his car. He then tries to start the engine again, but the car does not start.

Then the driver gets out of the car and tries to fix the problem while you stare at him impatiently. After a few minutes, the driver comes back and starts the car, so it starts accelerating gradually, and after a few minutes of the trip, the car stops again. So you inadvertently raise your voice to the driver and say, “What is it? What's wrong with your car? I'm late for an important meeting.” The driver says sorry and tries to help you find another taxi so you won't be late for your important meeting.

This shows that the driver is friendly, and you'll want to listen and empathize with him. But what if the driver says, "Why are you yelling at me? How am I supposed to know my car is going to break down?" It is certain that this type of phrase will anger the passenger, and this may lead to an exchange of obscene words or even a fight.

Such situations lead to frustration, which in turn leads to aggression. We have all experienced some level of frustration from time to time in our social lives, at work, etc.

A whole week or even a day cannot go by without us experiencing some form of frustration, and researchers have also shown that when we feel down, our aggression can increase.

Gender and aggressiveness

American psychologist Carol Gilligan says, “The most consistent difference between the genders is that males are more aggressive and active than females,” and it is also believed that biological and environmental factors are known to be responsible for the differences between the genders in terms of aggressiveness.

Biological factors include genetics and hormones. Environmental factors include cultural expectations, adult role models, and peers that reward aggression in males and punish it in females. Aggression can also be produced by social provocation or the mere presence of an aggressive act, such as the use of weapons.

Reduce aggressiveness

Aggression can be reduced in several ways. So when you find yourself dealing with aggressive people, just follow these tips:

1. Talk about it

When we are angry, frustrated, or in a difficult situation, we have pent-up aggression within us, and this aggression can be lessened if we can discuss the problem with another person. For example, if this aggressive person is a partner, friend, or family member, it is best to discuss the subject of the dispute with them, and when the discussion is open, they are sure to reach an agreement to avoid aggressive behavior in the future.

2. Punish aggressive behavior

Sanctions should be encouraged in order to discourage the aggressiveness of persuasion that most people use as a means of achieving their individual or collective goals.

3. Stay calm

The best thing to do when dealing with an aggressive person is to remain completely calm. “They say silence is the virtue of fools.” It does not mean that you are afraid or do not know what to say, but rather gives you the strength to think about a better option to deal with the aggressive person.

4. Be true to yourself

When we are stressed, we are likely to become more aggressive, but this can be easily stopped if we involve family, friends, and even our loved ones. Give them the opportunity to call you to calm you down when you start to be aggressive.

5. Protect yourself

Since violence sometimes accompanies aggression, it would be wise to stay away from any hostile person to save yourself. If you are in a public place and do not feel comfortable, it is best to leave, seek help if necessary, and contact security if necessary.

6. Understand the root of the problem

Before dealing with an aggressive person or even trying to cure yourself of aggression, you should really understand why it happens. When you know why you are always aggressive, it means that you have taken a step towards a better future.

7. Know your rights

If you are aware of your rights, you will know when an aggressive person is overstepping their bounds and how to deal with them. If you are exposed to a situation where you have to respond or take a violent attitude towards the abuser, you may not be able to obtain your basic human right.

8. Educate people

If you are surrounded by aggressive people, the least you can do is educate them about why they need to manage their emotions so they don't hurt themselves or their loved ones. We all react or act based on our level of understanding; wise advice will be of great help.

9. Stay away from the violent environment

If you expose yourself to a lot of violence, you are sure to follow the same method. So stay away from violent people or anything that involves some form of violence.

10. Always be around happy people

Happiness always begets happiness, so make it your responsibility to always be around happy people, and don't forget to make yourself happy too.